My Life in Recovery after Undergoing BOSASNET’s Counselling
It has been longer than I can remember exactly to the day since my last counselling session at BOSASNet, but I would estimate it to be around 8 or 9 months ago. I was attending sessions at BOSASNet weekly for months after I decided that I needed help to stop smoking crack cocaine and drinking alcohol…after I had hit lower than rock bottom in my life.
I am an alcoholic and addict, you see; something that I will never be cured of I have learned since going into "recovery" (a term used for active addicts when they start living a life that doesn’t include the daily or regular use of the substances they are addicted to). While I might not ever be cured of being an addict or alcoholic like someone who takes a pain killer is cured of pain, I am free from the prison that I was locked in since I stopped actively using crack and drinking booze- I am a recovering alcoholic and addict and this is something that I would not be able to say were it not for my counselling at BOSASNet.
My weekly appointments at BOSASNET with my counsellor started first with two sessions a week. I had nothing constructive to do with my time when I decided that I needed help quitting crack and dropping the bottle; so I tried to fill my time with counselling and other things that I heard might help me get better. By the time I decided to seek and stick to the help, I was unemployed, so the best place for me was BOSASNet. I also started going to Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) for more support.
At the beginning it was hard. I’d go for one session with my counsellor and feel like I could stay off drugs and booze for a while, only for 3 or 4 days later, to be back smoking a pipe and on the bottle again, meaning that the next meeting I’d have with my counselor, I’d have to tell her that I had relapsed, feeling like such a failure. I think she sensed that feeling I had, the feeling that I felt I would never, ever be free of my addition to cocaine and alcohol. Instead of giving up on me, shouting at me or telling me I was a useless crackhead, my counsellor would say, "What’s the one thing you know for sure?" Not knowing how to answer, I’d be quiet, crying. She’d answer her own question, "Well, the one thing I know for sure is that it is possible to stay clean from crack cocaine, that it is possible to quit smoking crack."
I’d sit back and listen to her as she’d tell me stories of other people she knew who had quit, I still wonder if she really knew all those free former crack heads, but one thing I now know for sure is that knowing that it was possible, that someone out there somewhere had actually quit and stayed quit, gave me hope and courage to try again. And try again, I did until my relapses were few until none…so far. I have been clean since June 21 st, 2014. It’s my new birthday....I celebrate this day more than the day my mother gave birth to me because this is the day I became free.
I am employed now, I drive a car (it’s a beat up car, but it’s a car nonetheless) and I have relationships with my partner, children and parents that are not based on fear. I can look myself in the mirror, there was a time I couldn’t do this at all. I laugh and enjoy being alive.
I will always be grateful for the help I received from BOSASNet. Without it, I could have been dead. I still go for check-in with my counselor every now and again, but the tools she gave me and I actually applied, also acted like wings she clipped on me so that I could fly. I am a forever grateful recovering crack addict and alcoholic. I know for sure, I wouldn’t be here without the help of people who God put in my path.